Planning your funeral ahead of time
A practical guide to recording your funeral wishes clearly, so the people you leave behind aren’t left guessing.
Why this is worth doing now
Most families have never discussed funeral preferences before they’re needed and this means decisions get made under pressure, often with disagreement about “what they would have wanted.” Writing it down, even briefly, removes that burden entirely.
What to decide
Burial or cremation The single biggest decision, and worth stating clearly even if you have no strong preference either way (which is useful information too!).
Type of service Religious, non-religious, humanist, or no formal service at all. Note any specific readings, music, or people you’d want involved.
Location Any preference for where the service is held, and where ashes (if cremated) should go.
Budget UK funeral costs vary significantly so being clear about budget expectations (modest vs. more elaborate) helps your family avoid overspending out of guilt, or underspending out of uncertainty.
Who to notify A list of people who should be told, beyond immediate family. This could include old friends, former colleagues, distant relatives who might otherwise be missed.
Practical extras
- Pre-paid funeral plan details, if you have one
- Any specific requests (flowers vs. donations to a chosen charity, dress code, etc.)
- Any specific music you’d like to have played
Where to record it
This doesn’t need to be a formal legal document but a note in your Life Folder, reviewed occasionally, is enough. Just make sure at least one person knows it exists.
Quick checklist
Your funeral wishes will be sorted when you have:-
- Burial or cremation preference recorded
- Type of service noted
- Budget guidance given
- List of people to notify has been started
- Stored somewhere a trusted person can find it
What to do next
Add this to your Life Folder Checklist, or read Swedish Death Cleaning if you’d also like to ease the practical burden of belongings.